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We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.

Rich people should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.

Any minister found telling lies will be shot across the English Channel in a high velocity circus cannon to save time and first class travel expenses. Top British engineers will be employed to plot the correct trajectory. A European funded net will be set up strategically in front of the European parliament so that when the errant MP hits it, he or she will bounce through the second floor window where they will be handed champagne and canapé at a reception hosted by Leon Brittan and Peter Mandelson.

Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches to prevent them distracting the rest of the class.

Any child who is cleverer than their teacher will be allowed to take over the class and the teacher will stand at the back with a dunce’s hat on. He or she will then be on half pay until he or she has learnt enough to regain the upper ground. This is our policy for child empowerment.

Eton and Oxford will be relocated to Blackpool and Bognor Regis leaving the other Universities with a chance of a bigger intake.

We will replace the House of Lords with the House of Cards, to make it easier for the Government to deal with.

4 wheel drive vehicles will only be allowed to drive off road, therefore stopping mothers picking up their children from school in them when they only live 100 yards down the road. They will also be wrapped in bubble wrap to make them safer.

Drivers will be allowed to drive over roundabouts when there’s nothing about. This will make driving through Milton Keynes much more fun.

Any kerbs that are caught crawling will be arrested and the council will be fined £100.000 pounds.

Police helmets will be re introduced and made even sillier. The higher a police rank then the higher their hat becomes. At Christmas they will be able to put flashing lights on them and generally decorate them. Once they have achieved the rank of Chief Constable the height of their hats will not allow them to leave their office, which they don’t anyway.

The Millennium Bridge will be made wobbly again, by building a pub at either end.

Immigration: everyone wanting to come and live in the UK will be made welcome, so long as they are over the age of 85 and accompanied by both parents.

Fox hunting will be re introduced under the “one hound – one dog” policy to make it a bit fairer.

All foreign G.Ps in England and Wales will be taught the local dialect so they know when their patients feel Jiggered (Tired), Manky (Rough), Gipping (Vomiting) or have got somit rang with their Fizog (Face).

All WMD’s (weapons of Mass Distraction) will be made highly visible so that we can find them.

The white cliffs of Dover will be painted blue to camouflage our islands.

Buckingham Place will be defended by triffids, cultivated by Prince Charles.

Anyone criticising defence will be made to mend it with de hammer and de nails.

To keep up with the present government we promise to introduce many policies that have not been thought through properly, purely for cheap votes.

These include:


Making everyone a lottery winner
Providing beer for school children
Giving everyone a quid who votes for us


and finally

The Queen

In future the National Anthem will be ‘Bring Me Sunshine’ as sung by Morecambe and Wise. It is quicker, more tuneful and people know the words. On state occasions Prince Philip will juggle his spectacles up and down and say, “Hey!” before the whole of the The Royal family do the dance off at the end. If the music can not be found because it was left in the pub then it may be substituted by ‘The Hippo Song’ by Flanders and Swann.

tropicaldawn

April 20, 2005 01:47 PM

I'm not voting for 2 reasons.

I am 14

I am Irish

dbzlotrfan

April 20, 2005 02:30 PM

race/color/weather your irish, canadian, mexican, or what ever else DOESN'T mean you can't vote. Just voting age (18) does. Corrding to the 15th admentment of the US Constitution"all races get to vote"

"Amendment XV (1870)
Section 1.
The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

Section 2.
The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation."

foudn that above from a site I 'stumpled' abone via a FIRefox extension. My history Techer(s) made a song for us 8th grades to rember the admendments, 1st to the 19th, I think. tune was the 12 days of christmas, didn't do all 19. skipped some like the 9/10,11,12,16,17,18.

i'm part irish, part american, and part candian, i'm 15 but only thing holding me bac is the voting age, have to wait 3 more years before I can (If I ever will).